ball of nerves

I need this election to be over. Now. After months of anxiety, I’m starting to unravel. On the one hand, it’s great that my job is one where we’re all campaigning one way or another all the time. This is good. But for the last two months I’ve been writing a blog every day about how we’re better off than we were four years ago, and let me tell you, ignorance truly is bliss. Four years ago was shit! I’m not sure if it’s because I spent the majority of 2008 either in Germany or in a fellowship bubble in the Cornhole and thereby failed to understand the epic magnitude of the clusterfuck or if, as in giving birth, one instinctively forgets past trauma so as to be able to keep on going. But the more I learned about four years ago, the more convinced I’ve become that if we don’t win this one our whole society is going to fall apart. Today might not be great, but it beats the hell out of four years ago.

We were out canvasing all day today, which was good. A little fresh air, a little exercise—and several consecutive hours away from my desk so that I am not exposed to the constant barrage of useless media interpretations of whether the eleventh hour instillation of unapproved software on 39 of Ohio precincts’ voting machines constitutes an attempt to “steal the election.” Also sick of: old white men talking about rape and Republicans not even pretending to help anyone but themselves by disenfranchising poor people. Don’t get me started on the disenfranchisement of poor people.

To top it off I’ve still got this crusty cold I contracted about a week and a half ago when I was staying every evening to call random people on behalf of various (seemingly random) Senate candidates. So now, I am a bona fide mouth breather.

In conclusion and to sum up my current state of affairs, I really need a win tomorrow. My sanity has always hung by a slender, fragile thread, and giving in to snot and despair does not seem like a good move for me. Also, either way it breaks, I’m going to need a new project in about 36 hours.